tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923249419959081206.post941736203353753060..comments2024-02-28T17:40:59.264-05:00Comments on Inside/Outside: She Loves Me, She Loves Me NotLinda Sherby PH.D., ABPPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09279584570624265917noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923249419959081206.post-70531848922242666092014-07-28T18:36:46.852-04:002014-07-28T18:36:46.852-04:00I am completely confused by your saying that I ass...I am completely confused by your saying that I assume my experience is reality, while assuming my patient's is not. The lines that you quote are meant to imply that there is no way we can figure out whose "reality" is real or a distortion and that therefore there does not seem to be any reason to continue to debate it. <br /><br />I also don't think I agree that Terri unconsciously knows what she needs, but that is also an unanswerable question since it is impossible to know what anyone knows on an unconscious level.<br /><br />Being an ardent fan of Fairbairn, I'm certainly familiar with the antilibidinal ego. However, I do believe that challenging patients to accept caring is one of the ways that the closed system can, over time, be breached.<br /><br />I also agree that my thinking about her is indeed a loving act, but eventually Terri would need to know that as well in order for her to begin to take me in as a more positive object. Linda Sherby PH.D., ABPPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09279584570624265917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1923249419959081206.post-74071118967429999412014-07-28T11:02:21.453-04:002014-07-28T11:02:21.453-04:00It is interesting that you feel your reality to be... It is interesting that you feel your reality to be a fact and her reality as "what you experience as my non-caring" when you say "I can say you’re turning things around to avoid taking in my caring and you can say I’m turning things round to avoid dealing with what you experience as my non-caring.” <br /><br />Just as the client has many parts, so do we as therapists (sigh, I am stating the obvious, excuse me.) Could it be possible that she picked up on something unconsciously from you other than care? <br /><br />It sounded like she started of with anger yet I experienced your responses as you needing her to accept your care. <br /><br />Obviously I dont know your relationship and all I write here is a reflection of my own inner world which I was either born with, which has been carefully planted or violently shitted into me. <br /><br />But listening to Terri through you, I hear someone who unconsciously knows exactly what she needs.... <br /><br />By the way, care can cause catastrophic consequences in the internal world depending on the strength of the antilibidinal ego.... remember, the patient knows how fast she can go, perhaps the realisation of someone caring for her so suddenly could have devastating consequences and her 'defence' against your care is vital. <br /><br />Just thinking about her the way you do is a deeply affectionate and loving act in my opinion.... Anonymoushttp://psychotherapy-abuse.blogspot.co.uk/noreply@blogger.com